


A Day in Steve Trevor's Life

by ready3x



Category: DC Cinematic Universe, DCU, Wonder Woman (2017), Wonder Woman (Comics)
Genre: Action & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-22 00:50:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12469808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ready3x/pseuds/ready3x
Summary: In a fluffy but familiar looking AU, Steve Trevor narrates a day fighting villains with his wife, the Wonder Woman, and they reward themselves with a romantic date. Fluff with a plot!





	A Day in Steve Trevor's Life

**Author's Note:**

> This fic liberally borrows from existing WW canons. Diana and Steve were canonically married in the 1980s, are romantically linked again since Greg Rucka's comic run (2016), and of course met in the DCEU movie in 2017.

Hello there!  
My name is Steven Rockwell Trevor, top agent of the DEO, the Department of Extranormal Operations under Director Amanda Waller. I started my career as an USMC Navy SEAL, hooyah, and use this experience to hunt supervillains. I am pretty good at it, and dastardly handsome, too!  
So why am I not exactly grabbing your attention?  
Oh yes.  
Although I am your narrator, you are probably not interested in my adventures, but those of a certain Amazon princess. You know, the ones with golden tiaras, unbreakable bracelets and magic lassos, who save hapless pilots from plane crashes and decide to follow them back to the world of man. I would probably do the same, dear reader.  
The Amazon princess is the reason why I am standing on my extraction point at 4AM in some god forsaken South American jungle. Instead of drinking coffee at DEO headquarters in Boston with my right hand, Corporal Etta Candy, I am dodging snakes, scorpions and trying not to get eaten alive by swarms of mosquitoes. I resist the urge to throw away my muddy fatigues, my soaked helmet and my wet machine gun, until I finally see HER.  
Wonder Woman soars through the air like an angel. As usual, Diana is wearing her battle costume with the tiara, the crimson armor, the golden belt, the blue skirt, the red boots, and of course, her famous bracelets and her magic lasso. Her stern, angelic expression, her strong, powerful body, her jet black hair, steel blue eyes and crimson lips exude the presence of something more than mortal. Seeing her in person covers me with goosebumps, it is like standing naked on the North Pole.  
For me, Diana is the eighth wonder of the world. The is the reason why battle weary me believes in miracles, and pushes on if the chips are down. Wonder Woman will always inspire me, and for some reason, she chose to be my wife.  
“Hello, Steve,” she purrs in a full, rich contralto.  
“Hi, angel,” I greet, while she wraps her arm around my shoulders and kisses me on my wet cheek. Even this loving embrace reminds me that she can crush steel. I reluctantly break the hug, put on my war face and whisper: “Diana, thanks for helping me out. The DEO wants me to take out this crime lord named Sebastian Ballesteros. He has a secret drug factory here, worked by imprisoned natives. We cannot attack it with an army, because he threatens to kill them.”  
“Psychopaths often mask cowardice with brutality.”  
“Yes, we must proceed with extreme caution.”  
“Your enemies are my enemies, Steve. I expect the usual payment: a candle lit dinner, champagne, flirting, and sizzling romantic tension.”  
“Deal,” I grin and kiss her on the cheek. Diana smiles, cracks her knuckles, and I already feel sorry for our enemy. I curse myself for stealing glances at her costume, which highlights her broad shoulders, her toned arms, her heaving chest, her chiseled sixpack and her slender, powerful legs.  
“Focus on the mission!” she snaps, but a faint smile appears on her lips. Her appearance breaks male focus worse than any WMD, and believe me, it gets worse with marriage.  
I switch on the HUD of my helmet and zero in on the drug facility. It's a dangerous trek through treacherous swamp, hostile animals and poisonous fauna, but luckily, I have an air taxi. I climb on Diana's back, and we gently hover through the jungle. Being lighter than a freight train, she hardly feels my weight.  
When I first saw Diana, I thought I was looking at an angel. She was the most powerful and beautiful being I ever met, and ever since, I tried to prove myself worthy of her attention. After so many adventures, I shouldn't be lovestruck anymore, but honestly, her smile turns me into a first grader with a crush on his pretty math teacher.  
I will always feel guilty for making her leave Themyscira. If I don't crash, she never has to rescue me, never has to win a contest to lead me back to the world of man, and is spared a lifetime of war, pain and exile. Also, I hope being my wife isn't even more punishment.  
While I am getting eaten alive by Mother Nature, flora and fauna seemingly back off Diana, as if they feel unworthy of sullying her flesh. I slightly wonder if crocodiles, tarantulas and termites spontaneously appear and snuggle at her feet, Disney princess style. Two hours later, mud, sweat and bug bites have turned me into Swamp Thing, while only the slightest film of sweat appears on her beautiful face. I shake off “Beauty and the Beast” comparisons, and from the top of a hill, we finally see the drug lair.  
Dozens of terrified natives are working on the coca plantation, guarded by muscle bound thugs with machine guns. Ballesteros is nowhere to be seen, but from the intel Etta gathered for me, I suspect him sitting in the faux villa next to the fields, smoking cigars and clad in shining white, a stark contrast to the color of his soul.  
“Okay, angel, this has to go quick. They will kill the natives if we give them a chance. I suggest that you fly in, knock out Ballesteros and draw his thugs' fire. While you keep them busy you, I pick them off with my taser bullets and focus on saving the prisoners.”  
“Ah, the old 'shock and awe' tactic. I'm ready when you are, Steve,” Diana grins, gripping her lasso. We both know that she is doing at least 99,9% of the work, but then, we are talking about a woman who took out effing DOOMSDAY.  
We sneak closer like the elite soldiers we are. I spent several years becoming a Navy SEAL, but that training seems a cakewalk compared with Diana's Amazon drills. She moves like a panther, silent, vigilant, and in full control. Even with no superpowers, she could break all my bones without me ever noticing.  
Finally, we reach optimum distance. I load three flashbang bullets into my rifle, and on queue, Diana and I make our move. I fire three rapid fire shots. Even with my flash resistant HUD, I squint as three mini supernovas explode with the brightness of the sun. The blinded thugs scream, and in the same instant, Diana soars through the air and screams: “Your reign of terror ends here!”  
In my opinion, there is nothing more terrifying than Wonder Woman charging at you with full speed. Superman tries to subdue you, and Batman is mortal, but Wonder Woman will rocket punch you to Kingdom Come. With blazing speed, she decks the first two thugs, kicks a third into two of his companions and snares a fourth and fifth with her lasso. Their colleagues blindly fire at her, but with superhuman speed, she deflects their bullets with her bracelets.  
You may have seen it on TV, but witnessing it in person is a sight you will never forget. Her arms are like blurs, parrying machine gun bullets with uncanny precision. They form piles around her ankles, and everybody stares.  
“When did that ever work?” she taunts, and I see the horror in their eyes. Nothing is more demoralizing than an enemy you cannot hit. While Diana breaches the perimeter, I busily snipe the thugs with my taser bullets.  
When the thugs try to shoot their prisoners, she soars in between them, and simultaneously parries their bullets while snaring the attackers with her lasso.  
“Do you really want to become mass murderers?!” she screams, and under the spell of her lasso, they blurt out: “No, no! We are just paid mercenaries!”  
In utter disgust, Diana picks up a large cocaine tank, picks it up like a javelin and throws it half a mile into the swamp. There go millions of dirty money, I grin. The thugs fire at her and scream: “That belongs to us, witch!”  
“Thank you for using the 'w' word, the 'b' word would have been worse,” she retorts, deflecting their fire and punching them silly, while I snipe them unconscious with my taser bullets.  
You may wonder why Wonder Woman shouts and postures during fights. She is drawing fire upon herself, giving our enemies a barndoor target they will never hit. Add that she can punch through steel, and you get how futile the fight is. Battling Wonder Woman is like playing basketball against Michael Jordan. You just know you are going to lose.  
After striking down the last thug, she looks at the native prisoners and shouts in their language: _"Run! You are free now!"_  
They gratefully abandon their coca plants and run to her, but suddenly, everybody freezes. Ballesteros steps out of his faux villa, dressed in a shiny white suit. He is surrounded by terrified children, the kids of the prisoners. He waves his machine gun, flashes a sweet, rotten grin that turns my stomach, and snarls: “Stand down, Wonder Woman, or these children will die!”  
Diana freezes, drops her lasso and utters: “Hold your fire, Ballesteros! Leave the kids alone!”  
Nobody dares to breathe. I have no shot at that guy because the line of fire is blocked by several walls. Putting his rifle at temple of a crying boy, he snaps at Diana: “Kneel down and take off your bracelets!”  
“Give me the children first!”  
“ON YOU KNEES AND BRACELETS OFF!!”  
“First the children, then your orders.”  
Wonder Woman's retort is as icy as a Stygian cocktail. But finally, he pushes half of the children away, who frantically run to their parents. In return, Diana does as he orders, and he drools at her obedience. My heart pounds when I see her naked wrists.  
“Put your hands against your temples and turn around!”  
Diana clenches her jaw and obeys. I freeze in horror when I realize that Ballesteros is going to shoot her, then the remaining children. I take a crazy gamble, aim at Diana's defenseless form and pray.  
With superhuman speed, Wonder Woman picks up her bracelet and deflects my taser bullet in such a way that it hits Ballesteros squarely in the chest. His consciousness evaporates in a cloud of static, and just like that, the dangerous drug lord has been beaten. The prisoners mob Wonder Woman in celebration, and it takes me several minutes to fight myself through and hug my wife.  
“That was some heads up thinking, Steve,” she beams, and I mutter: “I just hoped I wouldn't shoot you.”  
“I knew I could trust your improvisations.”  
“Wait, you planned me to do something harebrained?!”  
“Firstly, Wonder Woman always has a plan, and secondly, she can count on Steve Trevor when she needs him the most!”  
Diana kisses me on the cheek, and I blush like the first grader after a smooch of his pretty math teacher. After securing the area with the help of the local army, we wave each other goodbye and board our respective planes. I have a supersonic ARGUS jet, but it pales to her invisible jet. I gratefully decline her offer to fly with her, because that would risk giving away her secret identity. That's another thing I will reveal to you...

* * *

When I finally make it back to DEO HQ in Boston, my office is occupied by two familiar faces: Lieutenant Diana Trevor, and Corporal Etta Candy.  
“Greetings, Colonel Trevor!” they beam, and I mumble: “Hello, you two, and remain at ease.”  
I flop onto my office chair, feeling the effects of a red eye mission and a long plane trip, and look at my two assistants. Etta is a motherly redhead with a knack for bureaucracy, our best friend, confidant and #1 BFF. She looks at me and grins: “Diana and I are busy filing that Ballesteros mission. You really kicked ass… or rather, our favorite Amazon princess did.”  
“It's not my fault Wonder Woman has a thing for smart, strong, and devastatingly handsome officers,” I tease, and while Etta glares at me, I whisper: “Did anybody notice that Diana was, uh, somewhere else?”  
“No, Steve, I tacitly flexed her schedule so that she had no morning duties.”  
“You are the best, Etta,” I smile and kiss her on the cheek. Her specialty is covering for Diana if Wonder Woman is needed, and she is darn good at it.  
“Thank you, Etta, I'll get you those Greek olives you love so much,” Diana beams, and I squint. She is now wearing her secretary garb, which means a severe bun, clunky birth control glasses, and a dark costume with a white blouse, knee length skirt and flat black sandals. She could pass as a spinster in a Western, and even I have a hard time believing that she is Wonder Woman.  
“Okay, let's file this stupid report, and we can do something more fun afterward, angel,” I mumble and start dictating my accounts to Diana. I smile when I recognize my old army watch on her left wrist. To make a long story short, it reminds us of our first mission, and ever since, she wears as a good luck charm.  
I continue my report: “… and then, Wonder Woman went in for the kill, snared a group of two thugs and punched another one... or was it the other way around?”  
“I wasn't there, Colonel, but I have a hunch that it was the other way around,” Diana purrs, and Etta teases: “You married a harebrain, Mrs. Trevor!”  
“At least I didn't marry Ms. Quinzel,” she retorts, and I grin: “Yeah, Harleen makes even me look competent.”  
I continue dictating Diana my report. I'm not 100 percent comfortable to have her as my secretary. But she insists that she wants to “help me as much as I help Wonder Woman”. I hope that I am not setting the bar too low. But honestly, she is a great secretary, making nice use of Athena's wisdom and Mercury's speed.  
Also, Diana Trevor can do many things Wonder Woman cannot, like walk down the street without causing a stir. She gets a kick overhearing people obsess about Wonder Woman's bend of her biceps, the curve of her chest and the tone of the thighs, while totally ignoring her. I hope that people never make the connection between my wife “Diana Trevor” and my hero, “Diana of Themyscira”.  
After an eternity, the stupid report is filed. I stretch my aching limbs and smile: “Let's have some fun!”

* * *

“Ah, this is much better, Steve,” Diana sighs.  
We are sitting in a posh restaurant, enjoying a candle lit dinner with roasted duck, sautéed veggies and sparkling champagne. I am wearing my best tuxedo, but as usual, she eclipses me with a black, figure hugging dress which reduces me to a pile of drool.  
“You held your promise… candle lit dinner, champagne, flirting, and sizzling romantic tension,” she purrs, stroking my hand and playing footsie under the table.  
“You're welcome, angel,” I smile, staring at her toned arms, her voluptuous curves and her chiseled body. My drooling gets worse with marriage, and she is enjoying every second of it. After finishing the last bite, I smile: “Do you want to dance, Diana?”  
“I would be happy to, Steve!”  
I kiss her hand, lead her on the hardwood and spin her around. Her movements have the same grace, speed and power as on the battlefield, but dancing brings out her radiant smile that lights up my heart. I am not the best dancer, but with Aphrodite's grace, she makes me look like Fred Astaire.  
“You look so happy, angel,” I smile.  
“I am happy because you are, Steve,” she beams.  
“Dancing sure is easier if you don't have Godkiller swords sticking in the back of your dress,” I grin, and she retorts: “I hope we don't fight Ares tonight.”  
I sigh from the bottom of my heart and whisper: “He is terrible. Without his wars, I don't crash on Themyscira, you never visit the world of man, and instead of seeing war, pain and anguish, you remain in paradise.”  
Diana gazes at me with her calm, powerful eyes, and replies: “Steve, I left Themyscira out of my own free will. I was born and bred to fight, and I would have never been happy in Themyscira knowing others have to suffer.”  
“I just want to make you happy, angel.”  
“Then come here and prove it, Steve.”  
I wrap my arms around her shoulders and give her a long, passionate kiss. The taste of her tongue is sweeter than ambrosia, a drug I will never get enough of. She eagerly responds, but after several wet, hungry kisses, we know that our romantic tension will not be quenched by lip contact alone.  
“Shall we… leave early?” she suggests, and I grin so eagerly that we both have to laugh. We quickly drive home, hardly capable of keeping her hands from each other. When we stagger through the porch of our apartment, Diana grabs my wrists, pins me against wall and pours her tongue down my throat. I am paralyzed with joy, and whisper with a dazed voice: “How can such a warrior kiss so well?”  
“Because love is war, only the battlefield is smaller and more intimate,” she purrs, pointing at the bed. She greedily rips off my shirt, groping my chest muscles, and I protest: “Hey, that was a good shirt!”  
“What I do, is not up to you,” she retorts, fiercely kisses me, lifts me off my feet and carries me to the bed. I engage in token resistance, which she playfully overpowers, pressing me on the mattress. I am totally at her mercy, but her smile is warm and genuine. Diana likes to tease me, but she is not cruel.  
“So, Steve, let's celebrate our marriage,” she purrs, kisses her wedding ring, and we make love.  
Guess what, she likes celebrating.

* * *

The next day at the office, my entire body is aching. I can hardly think, let alone walk, but Diana is beaming. When I stumble past Etta to grab a morning coffee, she knowingly grins: “Oh, Steve, I envy you so much.”  
I just groan, not daring to put a strain on my groin. I stagger back to my seat, and stare when a large bouquet of roses lies on my desk. Diana gazes at me through her birth control glasses and smiles: “Colonel, a sign of appreciation from Wonder Woman. She thanks you for taking down that drug lord with her.”  
“T-Thanks, Lieutenant, even if I don't think I contributed much,” I mutter. Diana kisses me and smiles: “You sell yourself short, Colonel.”  
With a big grin, she crosses her wrists, flashing the bracelets underneath the cuffs of her blouse. I gaze at her in awe, and again, I become the first grader with the huge crush on his math teacher.  
Suddenly, my mobile phone rings like crazy. After staring at the screen, I utter: “Emergency in downtown Boston! Giganta has broken into a bank and is escaping with a large sum of money! Etta, cover for me here, and Diana… do what you do best.”  
“Thank you, Steve!” she beams. Etta knowingly closes the door, and Diana discards her glasses, lifts her arms and spins around. She vanishes in a blur, explodes in a flash of light, and when Etta and I open our eyes again, our sweet secretary has become the strong, powerful Wonder Woman.  
“I'll join you at the scene of the crime, angel,” I smile, kiss her on the cheek, and take the fireman's slide to my armored car. On my way to bank, people excitedly point to the sky and shout: “Wow! It's Wonder Woman!”  
With screeching brakes, I jump behind the police barricades. I watch helplessly as the giantess stomps away with the money, seemingly impervious to our bullets, until Wonder Woman appears and shouts: “You'll be sleeping in a king size prison cell tonight!”  
“THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK, WONDER WHORE!!” Giganta booms and swings a wrecking ball punch. Diana dodges it, whirls her lasso and charges at full speed – and even from so far away, I know she is counting on me.  
I cock my rifle, load an explosive bullet and wait until Diana snares Giganta's foot. She is pulling with Herculean force, but the giantess won't fall. I carefully aim, hit Giganta's ankle, and the explosion gives her just enough momentum to make her fall like an imploding building.  
Of course, nobody noticed. Wonder Woman arrests her and is the hero of the day, and everybody ignores me. My wife promises to make up for it with a nice dinner, flirting, and sizzling romantic tension. As usual, nobody will pay attention to me, in spite of being a top agent of the DEO, an USMC Navy SEAL, and dastardly handsome.  
Fair enough, I smile.  
Just another day in my life.


End file.
